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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
#information #families #country #income
The following diagram illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how families in one country spent
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week in 1968 and in 2018.It is obvious in 1968
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 have more attention than other things.
According to
 the bar chart, In 1968 people used 35 percent of their income for food but in 2018 they spent nearly
three_ quarters
Correct your spelling
three-quarters
 of their money for food. In 2018, families
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 their revenue
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
,
20
Correct word choice
and 20
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their revenue
was belonged
Change to the active voice
belonged
show examples
 to their spare
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
However
, In 1968 people spent slightly less than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
.
Furthermore
, they
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 attention more
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 housing in 2018 than
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
.
overall
, the below chart demonstrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how families organize their weekly income for other things,
such
 as housing, food
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leisure etc.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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