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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries

The table shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries
#proportion #women #labor #force #management #five #countries
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the table shows the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 working in
labour
Use synonyms
 and
management
Use synonyms
 in five countries which are Australia, Egypt, Sri Lanka,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and the United
States
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen the United
States
Use synonyms
 has the top position of
women
Use synonyms
 working in the
labour
Use synonyms
 force
as well as
Linking Words
 in
management
Use synonyms
. in the United
States
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 working in the
labour
Use synonyms
 force is 46% and 43% in
management
Use synonyms
. similar to the United
States
Use synonyms
, Australia placed in the second position which is 42% of
women
Use synonyms
 working in the
labour
Use synonyms
 force 43%.
in contrast
Linking Words
japan
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who work in
labour
Use synonyms
 high enough
also
Linking Words
 higher than United
States
Use synonyms
, in
Japan
Use synonyms
 is 48% of
women
Use synonyms
 work in
management
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 only 17% very far compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the United
States
Use synonyms
 and Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 cases with
Japan
Use synonyms
, Sri Lanka
experience
Correct subject-verb agreement
experiences
show examples
 it even smaller. in that case, the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 working in the
management
Use synonyms
 area is only 9%. differing from other countries, Egypt placed in the lowest position, with only 20% of
women
Use synonyms
 working in
labour
Use synonyms
. even though only 20% of
women
Use synonyms
 work in
labour
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 in Egypt working in the
management
Use synonyms
 area are higher than in Sri Lanka.
Submitted by hafidzaditaf1 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, labour, management, japan, states with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Labor force
  • Management
  • Proportion
  • Gender gap
  • Leadership roles
  • Workforce participation
  • Variance
  • Economic factors
  • Cultural influences
  • Legal framework
  • Education
  • Maternity leave
  • Workplace discrimination
  • Career progression
  • Gender equality
  • Organizational policies
  • Case study
  • Representation
  • Strategies
  • Disparities
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