IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Most
of
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apply
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university graduates
is
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are
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 troubled to find
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a job
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job
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jobs
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 based on their line of
work
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, there are some factors that may cause
this
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 phenomenon
happening
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to happen
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. I think that lack of
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jobs opportunity
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job opportunities
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 and unqualified
standard
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standards
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 for
experience
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 that needed are the
reason
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reasons
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 why they cannot find
work
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 in line with their expertise. There
are
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is
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limited
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a limited
the limited
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spot
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spots
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 for skilled workers
due to
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maximum
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the maximum
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man power
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manpower
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 needed. Based on my
experience
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, a middle-class company only
need
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needs
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 1 or 2
person
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people
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 of tax officers to calculate their tax numbers,
furthermore
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, the company
that is
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 hiring only want to recruit the best of the best to
work
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on
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in
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 their place. The candidate who
have
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has
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standard
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a standard
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skills
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skill
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 set will need to compete with
best
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the best
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 graduates and
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experience
Correct your spelling
experienced
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 job
seeker
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seekers
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 to take those spots.
Moreover
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, the bachelors need to have
an
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apply
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experience
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 to
work
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on
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in
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those position
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that position
those positions
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.
Experience
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 is gained by working,
as
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and as
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the
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apply
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times
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time
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 goes by, the
bachelors
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bachelor
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become
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becomes
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 a skilled worker.
On the contrary
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, in My own country
jobs
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 have an overqualified standard,
for example
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, a business development staff need 2 years
experienced
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of experience
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 to be qualified.
This
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 standard
is become
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becomes
has become
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 a big obstacle for new
candidate
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candidates
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 to
work
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 in
jobs
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 that they
meant
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are meant
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 to. In conclusion, many fresh graduates have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fierce competition to find
jobs
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 because they compete with more competent in knowledge and skill. They need to improve their proficiency when in college to increase their chance
to get
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of getting
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 their dream job.

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by providing clear and comprehensive ideas systematically. Expand your discussion of why graduates cannot find jobs in their fields with additional reasons, consequences, and varied solutions to make your response more complete and thorough.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, focus on the logical structure of your essay by arranging your ideas in a more organized and interconnected manner. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly transition between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main points and position.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate job placement
  • current job market trends
  • practical experience
  • job openings
  • employment prospects
  • geographical barriers
  • automation and technological advances
  • economic conditions
  • mismatch between education and job market demands
  • over-saturation
  • theoretical knowledge
  • competitive job market
What to do next:
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