IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart shows the percentages of
men
 and
women
 with
illiteracy
 in different parts of the world
last
 year.
Overall
, we can see that
women
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 higher levels of
illiteracy
 than
men
.
Develop
Wrong verb form
Developed
show examples
 countries have the lowest levels of
illiteracy
 on the chart. Only one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
men
 and two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
 are
illiteracy
Replace the word
illiterate
show examples
.
However
, in Latin American and Caribbean countries the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 is higher with ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
men
 and
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
little
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
 more
women
.
Moreover
, In East Asia and
Oceania
Add a comma
Oceania,
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
men
 are illiterate than in Latin America and Caribbean countries but the figure for
women
 is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher at 20%. In
Sub Saharan
Add a hyphen
Sub-Saharan
show examples
 Africa rates are more than twice in East Asia and Oceania. More than thirty
percent
 of
men
 and a little
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than fifty
percent
 of
women
.
On the other hand
 in Arab states
this
 gap is even
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
with less than thirty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
men
 and more than fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
 can’t read or
write
Wrong verb form
writing
show examples
. South Asia has the highest
illiteracy
 rates on the chart for both
men
 and
women
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, illiteracy, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: