IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

Many people believe that supervisors in significant companies should earn much more than other
employees
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because I believe that all workers are important in their job and
employees
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 make a
company
Use synonyms
's success.
Therefore
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, should be paid more fairly. First of all, the success of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
 depends on the attempt and dedication of all
employees
Use synonyms
, not just
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
show examples
 or management.
However
Linking Words
, part of leaders have to
decision
Wrong verb form
decisions
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 about important things, those plans would be useless without
employees
Use synonyms
 who conduct
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work. For example, in a factory or service
company
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, workers are the ones who always produce goods or provide services directly to customers. These
employees
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 work hard every day, the
company
Use synonyms
 cannot develop smoothly.
Therefore
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, it is unfair to pay so much financial reward only to the CEO
while
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 others are overlooked.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a
company
Use synonyms
 has to
pays
Change the verb
pay
show examples
 an extremely high salary to
Add an article
the
show examples
management team, it can
make
Verb problem
cause
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 unhappiness among regular
employees
Use synonyms
.Some workers may feel they are victims of class discrimination, which creates a sense of unfairness in the workplace.
In addition
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,
such
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 feelings may cause valuable
employees
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 to resign and look for better opportunities
elsewhere
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.
As a result
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, the
company
Use synonyms
 may suffer from high staff turnover, lower productivity and will loss of trust
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its workforce. In summary, large companies should not pay extremely high salaries to leaders and executives
contrasted
Verb problem
compared
show examples
 to other
employees
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 could lead to a lack of motivation and high resignation rates. Fair and balanced pay helps maintain a more loyal, productive, and united team.

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task achievement
Take time to refine your introduction to clearly convey your stance and outline the main reasons supporting it. This helps in setting the reader's expectations from the start.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. You might consider linking your ideas with transition words or phrases to improve the overall coherence of your writing.
coherence
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments while reinforcing your overall opinion. You might consider restating your main points more explicitly to drive your point home.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion on the topic. This is an important aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your argument, particularly regarding the role of all employees in a company's success, which enhances your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
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