IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
In
this
 period of modernity, some people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that
this
 matter can be solved only by the
official
Fix the agreement mistake
officials
show examples
 and stakeholders. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my disagreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 holds a lot of power. To cite an example, the leader of the country can make several regulations about keeping the environment safe,
such
 as reducing the usage of vehicles and planting trees. Planting more and more trees can help clean our air and protect us from flooding
also
 They're good for our mental health.
Therefore
, large companies can invest to support and accommodate it. Explaining some of the supporting points in favour public is the one who will obey the rules, thereby, if they do not care, nothing will change.
In addition
, when everyone decides to do at least small actions towards the environment, the world will not be suffering as much as it is today. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement because even though it is true that leaders from multiple nations have the ability to control these environmental issues without the public's consciousness, they will not be able to achieve their goals. In the future, boards of direction might help governors to pay for its implementation and more people will release their existence
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important.
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main argument and your position. While you have provided an opinion, the introduction could benefit from a more detailed outline of the essay structure.
Developing Arguments
Aim to develop fully supported main points with precise examples. Your essay alludes to relevant arguments, but you could provide more specific evidence or scenarios to illustrate your points.
Coherence
Strive to use a range of sentence structures and linkers to improve logical flow. Although your essay has some coherence, varied structures will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, restate your main argument with a summary of your key points. The conclusion you've written includes new ideas, which should be developed in the main body instead.
Task Response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you present a general agreement or disagreement, it would be more effective to explore the interplay between individual responsibility and broader governmental and corporate roles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
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