Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
In
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
society
advanced Add a comma
society,
technologies
are wide-spread
in Correct your spelling
widespread
work places
. In my opinion, the usage of high-tech devices brought a lot of positive changes in Correct your spelling
workplaces
a
working process, but, at the same time, technology’s progress is the cause of new drawbacks.
In some Correct article usage
the
industries
innovations turned upside down the way of producingAdd a comma
industries,
,
because now the whole working cycle can be executed by pushing a single button on a computer panel. As Remove the comma
apply
the
result, people can do their job faster and easier, using helping machinery. Correct article usage
a
In other words
, it can be called the second
Industrial Revolution.
Meanwhile, there are several disadvantages Capitalize word
Second
in
Change preposition
to
frequent
Correct article usage
the frequent
using
of Replace the word
use
technologies
. The users rely too much on Fix the agreement mistake
technology
a
computer brain of their devices, especially in memorising or calculating, Correct article usage
the
for
this
reason
their memory and mindset Add the comma(s)
reason,
get
not so sharp to do it on Verb problem
are
it’s
own. So, in a situation, when these users have no access to their gadgets for some reason, they can feel helpless. Correct your spelling
their
For example
, nowadays some devices’
users can hardly recall telephone numbers and dates of birth of their friends and relatives, since Change noun form
devices
cellphones
are always ready to help, Correct your spelling
cell phones
so
people do not need to keep Correct word choice
apply
it
in Correct pronoun usage
them
the
memory.
Change the word
their
Finally
, the development of modern technologies
affects humans’ health, specifically those employees, whose job is connected with computers. Unwillingly, they lead a sedentary life style
, spending about eight hours sitting at the working desk. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
This
lack of physical activity during such
a long period can be the reason of
some diseases, Change preposition
for
such
as obesity and immobility
of joints. Correct article usage
the immobility
Also
, the long hours in front of the computer monitor can be subversive for the eyesight because of the constant flickering of the screen.
In conclusion, technological progress brings many benefits to humanity, making our work and household chores simpler, nevertheless
it has some minuses too. It’s essential to keep Add a comma
nevertheless,
healthy
balance in the usage of Add an article
a healthy
technologies
and not rely on them too much.Submitted by s_syedy on
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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the key points you will discuss. This will help to guide the reader through your ideas and understand your viewpoint from the beginning.
task achievement
Support each main point with specific examples or evidence. While you provided some examples, more detailed illustrations or anecdotes could strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical and clear structure throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader from one idea to the next and ensure that paragraphs are well-organized and each contains a single main idea.
coherence and cohesion
A concluding paragraph should not only summarize the main points but should also clearly state your own position or suggest a possible solution or outcome.