The pie charts on the left illustrate the proportion of three electricity-generating sources in the German and French markets in 2009 while the charts on the right further detail the composition of the segment of renewable energy in that same year.

#proportion #three #sources #german #markets #right #detail #composition #segment #energy #year

The charts, on the left, demonstrate the data regarding the percentage of three electricity

resources

and

Correct your spelling

the

categories of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

renewable sources on the right, in two

Europian

Correct your spelling

European

show examples

countries, France and

germany

Change the capitalization

Germany

show examples

, in 2009.

Overall

, It's clear that the common thermal

energy

and nuclear were by far the most popular generators of electricity in both

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

Additionally

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solar and

gethermal

Correct your spelling

geothermal

energy

were the least popular ones in the case of the five green

energy

resources

. In Germany, Conventional thermal source is accountable for roughly 60% of the chart (59.6), followed by nuclear

energy

with around a

guarter

Correct your spelling

quarter

Finally

, 17.4 of the chart is allotted to the renewable

resources

used in Germany. In terms of

renable

Correct your spelling

renewable

resources

, biomass and wind

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

consumed virtually

with

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apply

show examples

the same amount

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show examples

39.3 and 36.9 respectively.

Moreover

, solar

energy

and geothermal were rather a negligible part

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show examples

German production. Considering the data in France, nuclear

energy

takes the

lion

Change noun form

lion's

show examples

share of the pie by 80.5%.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

all the other sources were accountable for almost twenty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the chart, in which solar

energy

was a small stake with 0.9%.

Submitted by Haniehfathi98 on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words resources, energy with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts on the left illustrate the proportion of three electricity-generating sources in the German and French markets in 2009 while the charts on the right further detail the composition of the segment of renewable energy in that same year.

Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to ensure that it does not harm the social development of teenagers and young adults?

Some people argue that modern technologies such as computers and cellphones destroy people’ social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think that it is the fault of the parents.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.