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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
#line #changes #amount #type #junk #food #australian #teenagers
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The line graph below demonstrates
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 junk food
consumption
Use synonyms
 by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Units are measured in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that in the
last
Linking Words
 decades,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of hamburgers was
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
 significantly
while
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
chips's
Change noun form
chips
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 was fall. In the beginning,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
 was the highest which is 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of hamburgers and pizza was lower and started
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the range between 5-10
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. Around 1985, pizza showed its dominance by taking over the number of
times
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 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
 from
fish
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 and
chips
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 and
stand
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 strong on around 95 meals per
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
 65
times
Use synonyms
eaten
Verb problem
apply
show examples
per
year
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, pizza
consumption
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained steady from 1995 to 2000 which is 85
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
. Hamburgers
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 significantly
Change preposition
to
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 100
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, times, year, fish, chips with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Dip
  • Steady growth
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Consumption patterns
  • Fast food
  • Processed snacks
  • Health consciousness
  • Marketing influence
  • Demographic factors
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Epidemiological impact
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