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Band 5.5

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life
One school of thought holds that kids benefit
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 their parents keep moving to different nations; others believe that it is disturbing for infants to move from one place to another.
This
 essay will attempt to shed light on both views before concluding that I am in favour of the second notion.
Firstly
, in
this
 modern world, people have diverse options for doing their work. To make a better life, individuals tend to move to a more developed country, which is provided by their own company, in order to work with the best materials.
Therefore
, kids are encouraged by the method of the new education system, which is much better than their own country's education system.
Moreover
, children
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 to know how to adapt to a new place, develop a strong mentality, and improve their abilities.
For example
, new areas and inhabitants make children's senses better and tend to be more reliable in their new accommodations.
On the other hand
, most of the time, when students move from one country to another, they are more likely to delay their
home work
Correct your spelling
homework
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 given by their institute because of new rules and regulations. It seems challenging to adapt to a new environment and unfamiliar things for new students.
For instance
, students
left
Add a missing verb
are left
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 with no knowledge about the new attitude, where to find a washroom, or how to adapt to a different situation.
Nevertheless
, parents need to agree about their studies as they need to continue learning.
To sum up
, though it is acceptable that
well-rounded
Correct article usage
a well-rounded
show examples
 education makes it difficult to adapt to a new environment, it is tough to maintain regular life lessons
while
 a kid moves several times around the world.
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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction expressing your own opinion.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and details to fully support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score, divide your essay into clear, well-organized paragraphs, each with a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize your main points succinctly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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