IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK schools in 1981, 1991 and 2002. Summarise the informatin by selecting and reporting the main featrures, and make comparisons where relevant.

Three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK schools in 1981, 1991 and 2002. Summarise the informatin by selecting and reporting the main featrures, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #changes #uk #schools #summarise #informatin #featrures #comparisons
The given pie charts illustrate the comparison of
yearly
Correct article usage
the yearly
show examples
 expenses of a
school
 in the UK during a
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
show examples
 period.
Overall
 in both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, the most significant
school
's spending was on teachers'
salaries
,
while
 the least was
insurance
Change preposition
on insurance
show examples
.
To begin
, teachers'
salaries
 became the most considerable expense
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for
two third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the spending proportion in 1981.
Moreover
, the other workers'
salaries
 placed the second highest spending for more than a quarter compared to other expenses.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same
year
,
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 resources and
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 15% each. Meanwhile, the insurance cost was being the most insignificant spending of the
year
.
On the other hand
, in 1991, teachers'
salaries
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 still the highest amount where it was increased by 10% compared to ten
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 before.
Similarly
, the cost spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 resources increased by 5%
whereas
 furniture and equipment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
was drop
Change the verb form
dropped
show examples
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5%. Meanwhile, other workers'
salaries
 and insurance costs were
insigficantly
Correct your spelling
insignificantly
 changed over a
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
show examples
 period.
Submitted by aday.mailing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words school, year, salaries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: