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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK schools in 1981, 1991 and 2002. Summarise the informatin by selecting and reporting the main featrures, and make comparisons where relevant.

Three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK schools in 1981, 1991 and 2002. Summarise the informatin by selecting and reporting the main featrures, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #changes #uk #schools #summarise #informatin #featrures #comparisons
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The given pie charts illustrate the comparison of
yearly
Correct article usage
the yearly
show examples
 expenses of a
school
Use synonyms
 in the UK during a
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
show examples
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
 in both
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, the most significant
school
Use synonyms
's spending was on teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least was
insurance
Change preposition
on insurance
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
, teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 became the most considerable expense
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for
two third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the spending proportion in 1981.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 placed the second highest spending for more than a quarter compared to other expenses.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same
year
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 resources and
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 15% each. Meanwhile, the insurance cost was being the most insignificant spending of the
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1991, teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 still the highest amount where it was increased by 10% compared to ten
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 before.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the cost spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 resources increased by 5%
whereas
Linking Words
 furniture and equipment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
was drop
Change the verb form
dropped
show examples
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5%. Meanwhile, other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 and insurance costs were
insigficantly
Correct your spelling
insignificantly
 changed over a
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
show examples
 period.
Submitted by aday.mailing on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, year, salaries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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