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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to the younger). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports
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Nowadays, the importance of unpaid
community
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service
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 activities has become a topic of discussion in contemporary society. Some argue that
such
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service
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 should be a mandatory part of secondary education, and I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 assertion
due to
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 the myriad benefits
students
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 can gain from
such
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 activities. Engaging in unpaid
community
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service
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 can have profound positive impacts on
students
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.
Firstly
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, it fosters a deeper understanding of their surroundings.
For instance
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, volunteering in underprivileged areas can cultivate empathy within
students
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 as they witness firsthand the struggles faced by others.
This
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 experience encourages gratitude for what they have and
instills
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instils
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 a sense of responsibility towards helping those in need, thereby reducing their own demands on their families.
Secondly
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, participation in
community
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service
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 equips
students
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 with essential social skills from an early age.
This
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 ability to socialize effectively is crucial for their future careers. Research conducted by the University of Syiah Kuala has shown that individuals who excel in teamwork often possess strong social skills honed through experiences gained during their high school or college years. In conclusion, I firmly support the idea of incorporating unpaid
community
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service
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 into secondary education. The invaluable experiences gained from
such
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 activities not only deepen
students
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' understanding of themselves and their communities but
also
Linking Words
 equip them with essential skills for their future
endeavors
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endeavours
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is elaborated with specific examples to strengthen the argument. Broad statements could be supported by more detailed illustrations or data.
task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline your stance explicitly and summarize your main points effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This can help the essay flow more smoothly and guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs fully, ensuring that each contains one clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • civic duty
  • volunteering
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • burdensome
  • practical experience
  • societal issues
  • altruism
  • coerced activity
  • initiatives
  • resume
  • exposure
  • community service
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