IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #opine #entertainment #leisure #activities #government
The illustration presents information about
selling
Correct article usage
the selling
show examples
 of milk annually in four states in 1990, 2000 and 2010. The
overall
 trend shown in the data is the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
greatest amount of
litres
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sold in
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
.
In addition
, we observe a slight rise from 11,262,000
litres
 in 1990 to 11,466,000 in 2010. The most salient feature was that in 1990 were
marked
Verb problem
apply
show examples
11,246,000
litres
 of milk in Australia, which contrasted sharply with a decline of amount of
litres
 9,165,000 in 2010. The greatest change was in production of milk in Tanzania. From the
data
Add a comma
data,
show examples
 it can be inferred that 87,000
litres
 of product were sold in 1990,
coupled with
 a steep decrease in 2010.
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Task Achievement
Make sure that the response addresses the prompt fully, discussing the extent of agreement or disagreement with the provided opinion about government subsidization of entertainment and leisure activities. Clearly state your own opinion on the matter.
Logical Structure
Develop a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving its purpose. The introduction should introduce the topic and state your thesis, body paragraphs should contain main points supported by examples or explanations, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of connectors and cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. Include topic sentences to clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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