Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Opinion is divided
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
students
should have their own to pursue tertiary education or be compelled to study
subjects
that are more relevant to the future
such
as those associated with
science
and
technology
. From my perspective, I advocate
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the first view albeit some benefits
exhibited
Add a missing verb
are exhibited
show examples
in the remaining point. Admittedly,
one
primary merit can be offered when people opt for
stuyding
Correct your spelling
studying
fields
relevant to
science
and
technology
.
One
upside worth mentioning is the more viable opportunities of having high-paid occupations. Evidently, since
science
and
technology
are
one
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
of the most prevalent
fields
after the fourth industrial revolution, numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
prominent companies around the world and enterprises are currently making
endeavour
Fix the agreement mistake
endeavours
show examples
to invest massive budgets in
science
and
technology
in pursuit of gaining profits and competing
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
firms.
As a result
, many of them have required a competitive income when taking on employees who have university qualifications and talents
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
those
fields
. Notwithstanding the aforementioned notion, I believe that
students
should
grant
Wrong verb form
be granted
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
liberty to choose
subjects
by themselves.
One
premineent
Correct your spelling
prominent
preeminent
benefit is that those individuals are more inclined to achieve work satisfaction. In comparison with studying
science
and
technology
, some
students
lack genuine passion for these
subjects
and are more inclined to
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
demotivated and
abandoning
Wrong verb form
abandon
show examples
their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
On the other hand
, those who study
fields
aligning with their personalities and passionates have ease with securing promotion and advance in their future career path.
Moreover
, being involved in
this
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
holistic working environment can support them estimate their values, gaining more wages and getting more
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
large number of
goalds
Correct your spelling
goals
goods
in their whole life. In conclusion,
although
studying
subjects
that are relevant to
sience
Correct your spelling
science
and
technology
can help
students
get
high-paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
, I assume that
this
will be ironed out by the greater advantage of individuals pursuing their personal interests including finding job satisfaction.
Submitted by ruozzo3095 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. In your second paragraph, the main idea becomes slightly unclear as the discussion jumps between the value of science and technology studies and job opportunities. Focus on one aspect before moving to the other.
introduction conclusion present
Include an introduction that clearly states the topics to be discussed and a conclusion that succinctly summarises your arguments and states your opinion. While your essay contains both, they can be more clearly articulated to guide the reader.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. These can be drawn from real-world statistics, studies, or hypothetical but realistic situations. Avoid vague assertions, and use examples to demonstrate the advantages or disadvantages you're discussing.
complete response
Address all parts of the task thoroughly. This includes discussing both views given in the prompt and providing your own opinion. Make sure each part is given adequate attention and development within your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas fully. Aim for each paragraph to expand on a single clear idea related to the prompt. Avoid jumping between different ideas; instead, delve deeper into each one to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Strengthen your essay with relevant and specific examples to support each view and your own opinion. Examples are what ground your ideas in reality and make your arguments more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: