A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People
nowadays
seems
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seem
show examples
to judge
people
's worth by their status in a social community and their wealth.
As a consequence
,
this
new kind of judgment left the old-fashioned values behind. I agree with the new opinion
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
it can open up
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
for
people
to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their needs by making
friendship
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friends
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
First,
the materialistic views of
people
may occur from the need to ease their ability to buy basic nourishment
such
as
meal
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meals
show examples
and
toiletteries
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toiletries
. So
that
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apply
show examples
, individuals tend to make
a new friends
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new friends
a new friend
show examples
by looking at their
economical
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economic
show examples
and societal backgrounds to gain some economic advantages
such
as an investment in
business
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the business
a business
show examples
.
For example
,
people
in
mid
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the mid
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to low class have difficulties
to afford
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affording
show examples
their basic needs because of their low income.
Furthermore
, to lift up their abilities, they may interact with high economy class to gain better opportunities
such
as job availability.
Thus
,
this
phenomenon will drive
people
to change their preferences to make a new friendship gradually. Regarding
to
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apply
show examples
the old-fashioned values,
people
in the past
is
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are
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likely
tighten
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to tighten
show examples
up will colonization stigma,
that
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which
show examples
make their judgments
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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based on
people
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people's
show examples
pride,
such
as their
honor
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honour
show examples
from a
sport
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sports
show examples
competition or their generosity
to help
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in helping
show examples
a slave. But,
this
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these
show examples
views
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
become more irrelevant
along with
the new era, especially in
digital
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the digital
a digital
show examples
era. In
term
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terms
show examples
of
economical
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economic
show examples
aspects,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual attributes
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
become less important in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
time, owing to
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
inability to guarantee
people
's basic
need
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needs
show examples
sufficient. The
honor
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honour
show examples
, kindness or trust cannot give
people
enough money to afford food.
To conclude
,
people
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people's
show examples
judgment
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judgments
show examples
in current
time
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times
show examples
happen because of the rising of basic needs that can only be afforded by improving
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
economical
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economic
show examples
aspect
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aspects
show examples
.
Thus
, old-fashioned
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
become irrelevant.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion, stating your position. Your introduction is brief and lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your arguments, and the conclusion is somewhat abrupt without summarizing your main points effectively.
supported main points
Develop main points with detailed support and relevant examples. Your essay lacks specific examples to substantiate your claims. Aim to provide clear illustrations or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay somewhat addresses the prompt but does not provide a balanced discussion on both material possessions and old-fashioned values. Elaborate on both to give a more comprehensive response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Increase the clarity of your ideas with better organization and development. Your essay does not articulate ideas as clearly as it should, resulting in some confusion. Use paragraphs to introduce and expand on each main idea for better clarity.
logical structure
Make your paragraphs logically connected; use cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs. The essay's flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and lack of clear connections between sentences. Employing cohesive devices (e.g., 'however', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') would improve the logical structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
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