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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the
recycle
Change the verb form
recycling
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 process of
an aluminium
Correct the article-noun agreement
aluminium cans
an aluminium can
show examples
cans
Use synonyms
. The whole algorithm consists of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
four main stages that are cycled in a loop. The third part itself contains four sub-steps in it. The process starts from collecting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future material and ends at a dealer point. The first stage is in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of
collection
Add an article
the collection
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, where aluminium
cans
Use synonyms
 are sorted from
a
Correct article usage
apply
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plastic, paper or organic trash and after that
are
Change the verb form
is
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send
Change the form of the verb
sent
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 to a recycling zone. At
this
Linking Words
 moment of
a
Remove the article
apply
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production,
cans
Use synonyms
 are cleaned, squished and
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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ready for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 following manipulation. The third stage is a complex schema, that a combination of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
four processes.
At
Change preposition
In
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 the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
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cans
Use synonyms
 are melted down,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 that new aluminium is rolled
to
Change preposition
into
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 a thin sheet.
The next step is
Linking Words
 when
cans
Use synonyms
 are created from previously done material. At
this
Linking Words
 point
cans
Use synonyms
 are ready for exploitation, so they can
be send
Change the verb form
be sent
show examples
 to markets.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Recycling bins
  • Collection centers
  • Sorting
  • Debris
  • Compacting
  • Molten aluminium
  • Purification
  • Ingots
  • Rolled
  • Manufactured
  • Distribution
  • Energy consumption
  • Efficiency
  • Lifecycle
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