You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop does not even switch on. Write to the store. In your letter : Tell the store where you live & what happened Explain the problem with the laptop State what action you would like the store to take

Dear Sir or Madam. I live in the
center
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centre
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of
the
Correct article usage
a
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small city.I am in order to complain about my new laptop.
Firstly
it was work excellent. I was working on my assignment with pleasure ,
however
after a week it
was switch
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was switched
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off
with
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for
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no reason. Because of your
product
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product,
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i
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I
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have wasted my money and
also
i
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I
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was very close to
be loosen
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loosen
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my job. To make matters worse
i
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I
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came to your shop again,
showed
Correct word choice
and showed
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my laptop to the assistant, but he was so rude to me
instead
of
assist
Wrong verb form
assisting
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me and
i
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I
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feel
dismay
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dismayed
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among customers. I would be grateful if you
get
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got
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rid of
with
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apply
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this
assistant.
However
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However,
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the main problem with my laptop i look forward to receiving a full refund. Yours sincerely Mr Bear.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The letter lacks clear paragraphs which would help to organize the points you want to make. To improve, each key point of the prompt should be addressed in a separate paragraph: one for where you live and what happened, another for explaining the problem with the laptop, and a final one stating the action you want the store to take.
Greeting and Closing
While there is a greeting and a closing, they could be improved. Use 'Dear [Manager/Shop Name]' to make it more formal and personalized. Instead of 'Yours sincerely, Mr Bear', consider 'Yours faithfully' if you haven't used a name, followed by your full name.
Task Achievement
The task has been partially achieved but some required elements are missing or incomplete. Be specific about your university town and the big city, clarify what exactly happened to the laptop, and instead of demanding the removal of an employee, identify what you would like the store to do about the laptop itself.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of the letter should be formal and polite. Avoid expressions of anger or personal attacks on the staff, as this is not professional. Express your dissatisfaction politely and request assistance.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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