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Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is betger to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #betger #situations
In
life
, bad situations,
such
 as unsatisfactory
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or financial problems are inevitable and we must deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 no matter what. It is often argued that the best way to handle a difficult
situation
 is by accepting it,
while
 others disagree and think that it is better to not give up and improve
such
 situations.
This
 essay agrees that the right way to deal with a bad
situation
 is by fighting
instead
 of submitting to it. A difficult
situation
 tends to take a toll on someone's state of mind, to the point it can lead to depression. Having to deal with numerous hurdles in
life
 is not something that everyone can take.
For instance
, a woman who lost her husband early in their marriage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 left with tons of debt and she couldn't barely afford rent. In the end, she resorted to forcing her own child to drink
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poison alongside her because she has given up on
life
 and
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 want to suffer anymore.
However
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many people,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not simply submit to an obstacle but rather try to find a solution to resolve that matter. To illustrate, a famous and eccentric attorney, Kathleen Martinez
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
better known as Attorney Martinez faced numerous prejudice in her first workplace because of her gender and she wasn't given much opportunity to showcase her ability.
However
,
instead
 of being discouraged by it, she quit her job and opened her own practice where she only hired young female lawyers. Personally, I'm leaning towards the option to keep moving forward despite the
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems because I believe that as long as I am still breathing, it means that I still have a chance to improve the quality of my
life
 and it is not impossible to turn around a difficult
situation
.
To conclude
, it is thought that the most reasonable option when we are faced with a harsh reality is to give up. Even so, I believe that resilience is the key to
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
 free from
such
 situations and the opportunity to improve our
life is
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 still exists.
Submitted by fadhlannaufaall on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your approach without excessive generalization. Stick to relevant details that directly lead to your thesis statement.
logical structure
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences that logically follow, supporting your topic sentence. Ensure that there are clear connections between your ideas and the overall argument.
logical structure
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas. Overuse or misuse of these devices can make your essay seem forced or unclear. Aim for a natural flow of ideas.
supported main points
Make sure each main point in your essay is supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and show a better grasp of the topic.
complete response
Always directly address the question posed, keeping your response relevant and focused on the task. Provide a balanced discussion if the question asks for a discussion of different views.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid underdeveloped points and seek depth in your arguments. Make sure to answer all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific, relevant examples into your essay to support your points. This shows a strong understanding of the topic and a capacity to think critically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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