IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040

the graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040
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The line chart depicts the proportion of
Use synonyms
population
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the population
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 aged 65 and over between the
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1940 and 2040 in three different countries namely Japan,
Sweden
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,
USA
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 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an increase in
percentage
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the percentage
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 of
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population
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the population
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 aged 65 and over in all three countries namely, Japan,
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
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Sweden
Correct word choice
and Sweden
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. To start, in the
year
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 Japan had 5% of people who are aged 65 and other and it has slight raise in the
year
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 2000,within 10 years of gap it raised up to 25% in
the
Change the article
apply
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2040 .
Whereas
Linking Words
,
USA
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 and
Sweden
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 simultaneously increased in the
year
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 1980 to 15%.
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USA
Correct article usage
The USA
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population
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased in the
year
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 2020 and it
has raised
Wrong verb form
rose
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 to 25% in the
year
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 2040.
Sweden
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 had
continuous
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a continuous
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 increase in their
population
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 until 2040 without having
decrease
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a decrease
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 in people’s
population
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 aged 65 and
other
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others
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.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, year, sweden, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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