Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

comments

Correct subject-verb agreement

comment

show examples

with, There are many

poular

Correct your spelling

popular

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

live in India. like Film

Actors

, pop singers and sports

person

also

many Businessmen and more. Few People

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that those people

charga

Correct your spelling

charge

charged

a lot of

Money

For an

advartisemnet

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Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

some society

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that their

person

helped to many

city

and country economy. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss some pros and cons in below paragraph. On the First

said

Correct your spelling

side

show examples

of coins, There are many positive points all these guys to living in their

city

. Their

mans

Correct your spelling

men

show examples

and

femiles

Correct your spelling

females

families

donet

Correct your spelling

donate

their

money

many

Change preposition

to many

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

economy. Many Business

person

spend their

money

to save the

city

's economy. like., tata, jio,

Relince

Correct your spelling

Reliance

, Adani and many more.As a reason, many sports

person

use their amount to open new

school

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schools

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and

hospital

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hospitals

show examples

and

provied

Correct your spelling

provided

provide

education and free

helth

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health

checkup

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checkups

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As a result

, Akshay Kumar

donet

Correct your spelling

donate

their

money

schools

Change preposition

to schools

show examples

, Army and many bad

situation

Change to a plural noun

situations

show examples

like corona, bird flu and

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

. On the other said of coins, There are many

negetivs

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negative

negatives

points

Correct your spelling

show examples

some

society's

Change noun form

societies

show examples

and many

Actors

do a lot of bad advertising and it is not

usefull

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useful

Change preposition

for

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

and

youngstar

Correct your spelling

young stars

. Many

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

and parents follow their many

Hero's

Change noun form

heroes

show examples

and

Actors

and they

looks

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look

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their

Change preposition

at their

show examples

post

Fix the agreement mistake

posts

show examples

Change preposition

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mobile and other technology. It is a bad impression in our

ganarsion

Correct your spelling

mansion

garrison

and

city

.For Explain, Many manstars

advertising

Wrong verb form

advertise

show examples

cold drinks and many others and they take more

money

hence

, Ajay

devegan

Change the capitalization

Devegan

show examples

advertis

Correct your spelling

advertises

nicotine products and their nicotine

eats

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eat

show examples

many young

chaild

Correct your spelling

child

and many humans.

For

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion, some people say that their

actors

and

sports man

Correct your spelling

sportsman

show examples

are helped

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our

country's

Change noun form

country

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many

defficul

Correct your spelling

difficult

situation

Change to a plural noun

situations

show examples

Other

Fix the agreement mistake

Others

show examples

think that their advertising are bad

imageing

Correct your spelling

image

Change preposition

show examples

our son and many

generation

Change to a plural noun

generations

show examples

Submitted by Rachna Academy on Thu Feb 01 2024

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Introduction

The essay fails to provide a clear introduction with a thesis statement, which is key to a well-structured essay. Make sure to introduce the topic and clearly state your position in the introduction.

Logical Structure

The main ideas are somewhat difficult to follow due to a lack of clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas. Improve coherence by organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences and consistent follow-up explanations.

Conclusion

Include a conclusion that restates your main points and opinion succinctly. It should provide a clear end to your essay.

Main Points

Support your points with more relevant examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing.

Ideas

Strive to present your ideas comprehensively; each paragraph should address a single aspect of the topic and explore it fully.

Examples

Use specific examples to support your views. They help in illustrating and reinforcing your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that university students should specialize in one subject, while others think universities should encourage students to learn a range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.