IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
expenditures
Use synonyms
 for five major categories in the United
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
, Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
expenditures
Use synonyms
housing
Change preposition
on housing
show examples
 was the highest of all through the surveyed period and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
expenditures
Use synonyms
health
Change preposition
on health
show examples
 care saw the shortest of all
bar
Fix the agreement mistake
bars
show examples
.
The
Change preposition
Of the
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
expenditures
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
for food
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 of 4
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
expenditures
Use synonyms
 of Japan was the highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
Use synonyms
expenditures
Use synonyms
 of the United Kingdom
higher
Add a missing verb
are higher
show examples
 than Canada 15%.
Then
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 expenditure of Canada
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than the per
cent
Use synonyms
 expenditure of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States.
Sencondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the
per
Replace the word
percentage of
show examples
cent
Use synonyms
expenditures
Use synonyms
housing
Change preposition
on housing
show examples
 have the per
cent
Use synonyms
 of United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
was the highest
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of transportation have Japan was the shortest of all.
However
Linking Words
, the per
cent
Use synonyms
 of healthcare and clothing was the shortest of the surveyed period. There were the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
expenditures
Use synonyms
 of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 development .
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, expenditures, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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