IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant’s manager. In your letter, – explain that you would like to apply for the job – give some details of any relevant experience that you have – specify the days and times that would suit you

#restaurant #job #restaurant’s #manager #times
Dear Hiring
Manger
Correct your spelling
Manager
show examples
, I am writing to express my keen interest in the part-time job opening at the Yummy Taste restaurant on Scott Road Surrey. Please find the attached resume for
reviewing
Change the form of the verb
review
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. I have 3 years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
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 at Costco
food
 court which includes some roles like preparing
food
, taking orders, making transactions, cleaning the customer
food
 area and many more.
Along with
that
Add a comma
that,
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 I have
food
Correct article usage
a food
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suppy
Correct your spelling
supply
 chain certificate. I am available to work for 20 hours or more on Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends with open availablity
prefrence
Correct your spelling
preference
 closings. I am looking forward to hearing from you and
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
show examples
 my
qualicfications
Correct your spelling
qualifications
 during the interview. Please feel free to contact me at 778-884-7020 or email me at [email protected]. Thank you for considering my application. Yours Faithfully, Khushi Sharma
Submitted by harneet2001kaur on

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task achievement
Ensure you understand all aspects of the task and complete them. Mention specifically the job you're applying for, such as 'part-time server' or 'kitchen assistant,' to demonstrate that you fully comprehend what the job entails.
task achievement
Develop each point more fully for a complete answer. While you've mentioned your availability, expand on how your skills match the job requirements.
task achievement
Maintain an appropriate and consistent tone throughout your letter. Your tone is generally suitable, but avoid overly casual language ('Yummy Taste restaurant on Scott Road Surrey') by using the full official name of the restaurant if known.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your information logically. Use paragraphs to group related information together, such as your experience in one paragraph and your availability in another.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear greeting and closing. Your letter includes both, but be more formal with 'Dear Manager' instead of 'Dear Hiring Manager' unless the latter is a known title at the restaurant.
coherence and cohesion
Stick to one idea per paragraph. While you've generally done this, ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with complete information on each point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Part-time job
  • Hospitality industry
  • Culinary courses
  • Customer service skills
  • Operational hours
  • Flexibility
  • Communication skills
  • Team spirit
  • Reputation
  • Cuisine
  • Eager
  • References
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