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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.
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The table displays what annual incomes have various occupations,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows how many
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
work
Use synonyms
 those in these 4 professions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the biggest amount of
time
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is spent on
work
Use synonyms
 has nurses.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 nurses' salaries are in the average sector among given occupations, police officers make the highest wages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, teachers
work
Use synonyms
 30
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, which is
also
Linking Words
, a smaller amount of
time
Use synonyms
, compared with others. The next least amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on
work
Use synonyms
 police service employees with approximately 35
hours
Use synonyms
 per week. Fire service workers spend 40
hours
Use synonyms
 on
work
Use synonyms
, compared with nurses, whose labour
time
Use synonyms
 is almost 60
hours
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
hugest
Correct your spelling
highest
show examples
 salary among those 4 occupations
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 police and fire service with merely higher than 52,000 and roughly 49,000 , respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 medical staff deplete their
time
Use synonyms
 the most on
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
, they have a small income,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the others, which is about 38,000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teachers have wages of only 33,000 annually.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, work, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Occupations
  • Salaries
  • Working hours
  • Average
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Discrepancies
  • Professions
  • Doctors
  • Teachers
  • Engineers
  • Retail workers
  • Balanced
  • High-paying
  • Low-paying
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