IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#people #travel #language #home #town
Some people choose to
learning
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
 in their home town
instead
 of
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 abroad to study a foreign language,
has
Correct pronoun usage
which has
show examples
 increased significantly.
Although
 there are several advantages
learning
Change preposition
to learning
show examples
 for
comforts
Fix the agreement mistake
comfort
show examples
,it can have some disadvantages as
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in their home town decrease of
education
. I believe we should not ignore the drawbacks.I will try to discuss both sides of
this
 and draw a conclusion. On the one hand,there are some obvious benefits of studying from foreign language. The first merit of it is supposed to be that increases the quality of
education
,discovering new beautiful places.
For instance
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
independent
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 an idea,learning what
this
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not know,knowledge increases,get rid of village work.
That is
 because a human is distracted by work.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the distant
show examples
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
 of learning of foreign language,can some problems.One of the major disadvantages of it is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 reduction of
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
 area
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force.
For example
,become sluggish
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
,reduction of schools,
poor-quality
Correct word choice
and poor-quality
show examples
education
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young people.
This
 is because many works are left to older people and rural areas do not
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
 learning new knowledge and teaching young children in her state can offer several positives,there may be some drawbacks too.From my personal point of view,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
 will
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay needs a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question. State clearly the advantages and disadvantages of studying a language abroad versus studying at home.
coherence cohesion
The body paragraphs should each focus on one clear advantage or disadvantage. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This helps illustrate your arguments more clearly and show your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, using cohesive devices such as linking words (however, for instance, therefore).
task achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the advantages and disadvantages discussed, and clearly states your position or opinion.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic immersion
  • Cultural integration
  • International network
  • Conversational proficiency
  • Financial burden
  • Homesickness
  • Pedagogical differences
  • Culture shock
What to do next:
Look at other essays: