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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

he bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

he bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graph below shows the world's projected number of people who cannot read or write
according to
 region and by gender status for the
last
 year.
Overall
, there are more illiterate
men
 than women in all regions. Both developed countries and latin
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 have the lowest
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who can't read or write,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 more illiterate males and females are found in South Asia. As noticeable from the diagram, South Asia has the highest illiteracy rate at almost 60% for women and just over 30% for
men
whereas
 in the developed
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
men
 are at about 2% and women at nearly 1%.
However
, for both males and
females
Add a comma
females,
show examples
 the rate of illiteracy is almost equal with 10% and roughly 12% respectively, in the Caribbean.
Additionally
, Sub-saharan Africa is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the third position in females with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 illiteracy rate
while
 for
men
 it was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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