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Band 3

the reason for increasing levels of pollution are the development industry and air travel.

#reason #levels #pollution #development #industry #air #travel
In the modern era, the levels of
pollution
 increased significantly because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
growth
 of industry and air travel. The issue is
unavoidable
Add an article
an unavoidable
the unavoidable
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 consequence of the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
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 era.
To begin
 with, the
pollution
risen
Add a missing verb
has risen
show examples
 in a place that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 experienced a
growth
 in
technology
.
For instance
,
The industrial
Correct your spelling
the Industrial
show examples
revolution
Capitalize word
Revolution
show examples
 in the 18th century
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Europe impacted the environment by using chemicals that
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 the levels of
pollution
,
while
this
growth
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 the economy of
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
. Looking at
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 recent
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
, the data
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet show that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2020
aviation’s
Change noun form
aviation
show examples
pollution
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 70% higher than in 2005. It is important to
innovation
Replace the word
innovate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 countries, but the innovation should be environmentally friendly to reduce the amount of
pollution
.
For instance
,
green
Correct article usage
the green
show examples
 industry
to push
Change the verb form
pushes
show examples
 the number of
pollution
 because
this
 industry
prioritise
Change the verb form
prioritises
show examples
sustainable
Replace the word
sustainability
show examples
 and environmentally responsible
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
. Nowadays, there are some countries that
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 considered to develop
technology
 which
environmentally
Add a missing verb
is environmentally
show examples
 friendly and low levels of
pollution
.
For instance
, some of
developed
Add an article
the developed
show examples
 countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have developed vehicles with
biodgradable
Correct your spelling
biodegradable
 materials. In conclusion, the causes of
this
 case because the
growth
 of
technology
. So, it is important to
innovation
Replace the word
innovate
show examples
technology
 with environmentally friendly to decrease the
pollution
.
Submitted by azizahqonitas on

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Introduction Structure
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Paragraph Structure
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a single main idea. Use suitable linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Response
Make sure to answer all parts of the question directly and fully. Develop main points thoroughly and provide specific examples to support each point.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and word choice to convey ideas more clearly and professionally.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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