IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summaries #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first graph illustrates a statistic in dynamic about the number of
computer
Use synonyms
 owners,
while
Linking Words
 the second table demonstrates the level of
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 in comparison between 2002 and 2010. It is evident from the data that the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
computer
Use synonyms
 users rose,
as well as
Linking Words
 the partition of educated citizens.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a
noticaeble
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 trend of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
notebook users
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 for a given period of time. There was a stable incline in numbers
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year for around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
 the amount of PC owners rose
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 58 to 78.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 interesting to note that, in all education level segments the number of
computer
Use synonyms
 users
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
. The more significant
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
 can be seen among those without or just with a high school diploma and
incomplete
Add an article
an incomplete
show examples
 college degree.
However
Linking Words
,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 educational stages
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
larger
Add an article
the larger
show examples
 half of
computer
Use synonyms
 owners.
For example
Linking Words
, that partition almost reached 100% in 2010.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words computer with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • computer ownership
  • percentage of the population
  • level of education
  • comparison
  • trend
  • increase/decrease
  • no-qualification
  • secondary
  • post-secondary
  • graduate education
  • digital divide
  • socio-economic factors
  • technological advancement
  • accessibility
  • demographics
  • statistical data
  • data interpretation
  • significant growth
  • fluctuations
  • proliferation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: