IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

he table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

he table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart below shows how
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 without jobs in the United Kingdom
last
Linking Words
 year used their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing different
lots of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
activities.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 engaged in housework chores in the morning than in any other activities
while
Linking Words
 the least
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 found in drinking.
However
Linking Words
, in the afternoon most
men
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their time watching television
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
sis
Correct your spelling
spend
show examples
 shopping and visiting friends. In the morning, the number of people doing nothing or sitting around was the same for both
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 at 3%. The number of
men
Use synonyms
 staying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bed in the afternoon was 1% more than that of
women
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there was an equal number of both
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 resting in bed in the morning at 8%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more
men
Use synonyms
 engaged in sports activities than
women
Use synonyms
 during the whole day, only 1% of
females
Use synonyms
 played sports as compared to
males
Use synonyms
 at 8%. More
men
Use synonyms
 were
looked
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for jobs than
women
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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