some employers offer their emplyees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs. believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Othe employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.
#employers #offer #emplyees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit #arguments #aspects #debate #conclusion
Numerous people argue that the
employees
welfare including health quality and performance at work will increase with the subsidised membership of sports clubs. Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
However
, the arguments of an unprofitable one are also
considerable, as we shall see.
On the one hand, those who support the idea of the benefits from
acquiring a sponsored membership of gyms point to increased productivity for employees. Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, it is also
true that health quality may be improved, and offering sports activities that can lead workers to get a healthy lifestyle. Finally
, it seems that these facilities could impact the rise of employees’ performance,
and job satisfaction at the office. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, people could spend their free time doing exercise such
as in the middle of the lunch break or after work. Then
, we can see that with higher productivity meaning that
improvement of life may be higher too.
Correct determiner usage
the
In contrast
, supporters who see nonprofit
from these perks often state that the company should be encouraged to spend more money, which may not be practical for every employer. Fix the agreement mistake
nonprofits
Moreover
, the benefit
will not be visible to everyone in the workplace. Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
For instance
, some individuals may not want to exercise either at work or in general. As a last
point, it is also
true that companies can make other alternatives
ways to increase Change the noun form
alternative
Correct article usage
the wellbeing
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
for
their workers by setting up regular exercise classes rather than Change preposition
of
to pay
them regular memberships.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against subsidised gym membership for workers, but I believe that providing these services could bring many benefits Change the verb form
paying
such
as Correct article usage
an increase
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
Change preposition
in the
the
quality Change preposition
in the
Change preposition
of
including
health and Change preposition
of
Correct pronoun usage
apply
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
performances
.Fix the agreement mistake
performance
Submitted by izzahayuni85 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this is developed fully.
Task Achievement
Providing specific, real-world examples can strengthen the argument and demonstrate a better understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow between ideas and sentences, making use of a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline the main points that will be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of discourse markers to begin your sentences to aid in transitioning and signaling the structure of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarises the main points discussed and clearly states your own standpoint without introducing new information.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?