IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The need for a
university
Use synonyms
 degree has seen a rapid increase over the years. A number of
university
Use synonyms
 learners are interested in studying additional courses with their core
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, remaining consider that the priority is to give all their efforts in gaining the respective qualification. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss some points on both these viewpoints and give my opinion
at the end
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is a
university
Use synonyms
 pupil’s main objective to score well in their main courses. One of the beneficial
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to support
this
Linking Words
 point is that there would not be any extra distractions and efforts to put into other
subjects
Use synonyms
 which might not be as necessary as given courses by the
university
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 provides ample time
in studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 and
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 the current chapters in depth.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
university
Use synonyms
 learners who pass all the extra
subjects
Use synonyms
 but get a backlog in their core areas. Another reason could be that the projects can be on the specific area of study and no other integration will be needed.
However
Linking Words
, gaining additional certification throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 life could be helpful in future.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India most of the engineering universities do not provide software education in the main learning curriculum,
as a result
Linking Words
, students opt for
this
Linking Words
 certificate as an additional course, which helps them in career placement. It is
subjects
Use synonyms
 like
this
Linking Words
 which broaden our career options and
also
Linking Words
 help in human development for the upcoming life. Gaining expertise in supported areas of your main
subjects
Use synonyms
 can be found needful to most of the learners. In conclusion, despite how important the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 are, in my opinion showing interest in extra
subjects
Use synonyms
 are gaining those qualities will be a plus point in future aspects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure you write a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Your conclusion was missing an explicit statement summarizing your discussion and reiterating your opinion. This detracts from the overall structure of your essay.
Logical Structure
Developing a logical structure involves not only presenting ideas but also transitioning smoothly between them. Utilize a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
Supporting Examples
Support main points with more detailed examples. The example of engineering students in India is good, but you could elaborate further by explaining how additional certifications can impact career prospects in a wider context.
Task Response
When you discuss both views, it's important to explore each perspective thoroughly. While you mentioned that students focusing solely on their main subjects might avoid distractions, you could discuss potential outcomes of this approach in more depth, such as greater specialization or improved academic results.
Idea Development
To improve the clarity of your ideas, consider providing more detailed reasoning behind each argument. Explain why limiting distractions is beneficial and in what specific scenarios gaining additional qualifications may be advantageous.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: