Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays unhealthy food consuming habits have significantly increased.
While
a faction of people holds the notion that governments are responsible for control
unhealthy Wrong verb form
controlling
diet
, others argue that it should Fix the agreement mistake
diets
be take
care Change the verb form
be taken
be taking
by
individuals. Change preposition
of by
This
essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the former view with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, the proponents of individual responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
diet
claim that Add an article
the diet
public
has the right to choose what to eat. Correct article usage
the public
In other words
, the governments have limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
to impose
the Change preposition
in imposing
diet
to
Change preposition
on
public
which is against the freedom of living, Add an article
the public
therefore
, people have to decide what to eat based on their health
conditions. Besides
, since health
Replace the word
healthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
are
affordable and commonly available, Change the verb form
is
the
government intervention is not required to support Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, McDonald's, one of the biggest fast food chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
the
world, introduced Change preposition
in the
diet
menu for Correct article usage
a diet
the
people who prefer healthy light meals.
Correct article usage
apply
Nevertheless
, there is fact
that obesity among children is one of the major Add an article
the fact
a fact
health
problem
around the globe. In detail, unhealthy dining habits are on the increase among the young ones. Change to a plural noun
problems
As a result
, lifestyle disease
in common Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
Change preposition
at in
in
early age, Correct your spelling
an
hence
, the public health
system could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
control
the enormous number of unhealthy population
. Fix the agreement mistake
populations
For example
, a recent report of
WHO indicated that Change preposition
by
the
around 30% of children in Correct article usage
apply
the
developed countries Correct article usage
apply
have
Verb problem
are
obesity
. Replace the word
obese
Moreover
, the authority has responsibility
to promote Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
healthy
lifestyle. To Add an article
a healthy
control
the
unhealthy foods the Correct article usage
apply
authority
should Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
control
fast food resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
by
legally and implement heavy Change preposition
apply
tax
on refined sugar products.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
Although
individual
have the right to decide what to eat, Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
the
governments are responsible for promoting healthy Correct article usage
apply
dininig
and controlling unhealthy Correct your spelling
dining
diet
.Fix the agreement mistake
diets
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task achievement
Ensure a clear position is presented and maintained throughout the essay. Consistency in your opinion helps in achieving a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to present ideas clearly and expand on them with detailed support; this will help with coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. The use of concrete examples and clear, relevant illustrations strengthens an argument.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, clearly outline your viewpoint and summarize your main points to ensure full task completion and a cohesive structure.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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