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Band 3.5

Many countries in Africa consider big game hunting beneficial for their tourism industry. However, this practice is heavily criticized by environmentalists because it jeopardizes the existence of certain species.

#countries #africa #game #tourism #industry #practice #environmentalists #existence #species
Certain people believe that many countries in
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
 assess big game hunting
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 very useful for their
tourism
 industry. In alternate,
ecologist
Fix the agreement mistake
ecologists
show examples
 think that
this
 might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the existence of some species. These
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed in the essay, and I will explain my side. On the one hand,
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 the economy of every country in
this
 modern era. People
always
Add a missing verb
are always
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 attracted towards the beauty of nature and
adventures
Replace the word
adventurous
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 things, that's why hunting is more popular during
tourism
.
For example
,
tour
Correct article usage
the tour
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 industry of south
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 and
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
generate
Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
show examples
 excessive revenue, because hunting is legal in their
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 places.
On the other hand
, big game hunting is strongly condemned by environmentalists, because it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the existence of certain organisms. Some species
are rarely existed
Change to the active voice
rarely exist
existed
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 like black
rhino
Fix the agreement mistake
rhinos
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,
african
Change the capitalization
African
show examples
 wild
dog
Fix the agreement mistake
dogs
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 and kudu in
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
. Since big game hunting started in their countries.
Additionally
, authorities should take
stand
Correct article usage
a stand
show examples
 against these games like hunting, because field
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 sometimes might be dangerous for hunters. Some animals are murderous and aggressive against human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, so it would be very risky to hunt them. An ecologist gives his statement about hunting in north
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
, 1000 peoples faces death during
hunting
Add an article
the hunting
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 of
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
pig
Fix the agreement mistake
pigs
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 every year.
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the end, it is concluded that authorities should set a massive amount of fine against hunting.
Although
 hunting is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interesting entertainment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 hunting should be forbidden, because it threatens the population of some specific species.
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coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) appropriately to connect ideas across your essay. Ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and details. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up with evidence or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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