The increasing use of credit cards has led to a rise in personal dept. Some people argue that this is a problem that needs to be addressed, while others argue that it is a necessary part of modern life. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.

The table compares The number of
visitors
who
visit
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visited
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Ashdown
museum
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Museum
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before and after of museum
refurbishment
and the charts illustrate the polls
asked
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asking
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visitors
Satisfaction
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about Satisfaction
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before and
after
this
change
Overall
, what stands out is that the number of people visiting
have
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has
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risen considerably.
Moreover
,
high
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a high
the high
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proportion of
visitors
were not satisfied before reconstruction,
while
vast
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the vast
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majority of individuals are content with
New
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the New
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changes. As can be seen, exactly half of
visitors
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the visitors
show examples
were very dissatisfied and dissatisfied before redecorating, With 10 and 40
percent
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per cent
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respectively,
whereas
3/4 of
visitors
have become satisfied and very satisfied after
refurbishment
, with 40 and 35% respectively. before
refurbishment
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refurbishment,
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just 15% of
visitors
were very satisfied which
it
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apply
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is 35% after it which is
considerable
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a considerable
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change
. Another remarkable
change
refers to
dissatisfied
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the dissatisfied
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group which
decrease
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decreased
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from 40% before to 15% after
refurbishment
.
Also
, very dissatisfied declined by half.
In
addition
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addition,
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the same person of people
don't
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who don't
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answer or participate
to
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in
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the surveys in both time
period
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periods
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come on with just 5%.
this
is evident from
Correct article usage
the table
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table
Correct article usage
the table
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that
this
change
was satisfactory
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in attracting
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attracting
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in attracting
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more
visitors
to
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the museum
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museum
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the museum
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in comparison with the past.
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Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should have a specific purpose - introduction to present the topic and your thesis, body paragraphs to discuss each side of the argument, and conclusion to summarize and state your opinion.
Support
Make sure your main points are well supported with explanations or examples. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea that is elaborated on with specifics.
Cohesion
Work on paragraphing and use a range of linking words to help the reader follow your argument more easily. This also includes overall organization and how one idea flows to the next.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion on the issue. It seems like the essay you provided is off-topic and does not address the credit card debt issue mentioned. Ensure your essay stays on topic throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal debt
  • high-interest rates
  • easy access to credit
  • impulsive spending habits
  • financial mismanagement
  • financial stress
  • overall quality of life
  • essential part of modern financial systems
  • convenience and security for transactions
  • reward points
  • cashback
  • fraud protection
  • financial literacy
  • responsible credit usage
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