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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #amount #carbon #emissions #countries #three #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph below demonstrates the amount of carbon emission in the
USA
Use synonyms
, Germany, UK, China,
Canada
Use synonyms
 and India during three various years. As you can see
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the greatest among are
blonge
Correct your spelling
blonde
 to the
USA
Use synonyms
 and China in 2005.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 2005 had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 amount
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1, 600, 000.
Also
Linking Words
, Germany in 1975 and 1990 had the same amount nearly 300, 000.
In addition
Linking Words
, It is obvious that all the 6 countries except the
USA
Use synonyms
 have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 among in 1975 and 1990.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, As you
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the fewest among in during 3 several years.
Also
Linking Words
, In 2005
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the UK
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 among about 150, 000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In 1975 India had the fewest among approximately 10, 000,
while
Linking Words
 the United States of America had the most among in 1975. In conclusion,
Canada
Use synonyms
 has the fewest among in during 3 different years,
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 have the greatest among.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • bar graph
  • trends
  • analyze
  • significant changes
  • emission levels
  • steady increase/decrease
  • comparisons
  • summarize
  • range
  • over time
  • environmental impact
  • greenhouse gases
  • sustainable practices
  • fossil fuels
  • industrial activity
  • data interpretation
  • chart analysis
  • megatons
  • climate change
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