IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lesson pressure on worlds fuel resources To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#prices #fuels #decade #two #increases #fuel #world #consumption #lesson #pressure #worlds #resources
Over the
last
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
 the costs of
fuel
 have definitely risen and it can be argued that an increase in
fuel
 price will enhance global economic security.
However
, it is not the only way to lessen the consumption of
fuel
.To get my point across,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will present some
well supported
Add a hyphen
well-supported
show examples
 arguments in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, as we know, in our society ,
fuel
 resources are not that limited,
for
this
reason
Add the comma(s)
reason,
show examples
 government or social scientists should bring new innovations.
Moreover
, people argue that countries with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of financial support physically can not afford the high level
fuel
Change preposition
of fuel
show examples
 costs.
For instance
 , in Kazakhstan , the majority of unemployed males or even females depend on their income from public transportation. These drivers typically pay for the gas themselves using the money they earn by driving on passengers. For that reason , deprived individuals can not survive in these kinds of circumstances.
On the other hand
 , political ideologies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that with
this
 gas
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 increase , a lot of reaction occurs,
such
 as
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
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 rise in food costs or other sectors .
Due to
this
, inhabitants will take many rallies in the streets , after conflicts
may
Verb problem
apply
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appear among themselves and
this
 can only lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global economic crises. In conclusion , even though
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fuel
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 about to increase
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little impact on
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 consumption of fossil fuels.
However
, rising
fuel
 prices may lead to the failure of our economic system
due to
 a lack of financial resources and
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
 of rising figures in all other products.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Be sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. While you have touched on the points, there's room to further clarify and develop your position on fuel prices and consumption.
coherence cohesion
Aim for clarity when presenting ideas. Ensure that your arguments are comprehensive and flow logically from one to the next. Developing clear topic sentences can help with this.
task achievement and coherence cohesion
Back up your main points with specific examples and details. It is important to illustrate your viewpoints with concrete evidence or examples to strengthen your argument.
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