IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

in their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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In
this
Linking Words
 era, it's common for companies to always
up to date
Correct your spelling
update
show examples
 their products with new
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 and
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
 by advertisement. It seems there are some arguments on both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
 that will be discussed in the essay. On the one hand,
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
 goods with a new branding is a smart way to increase the sales of businesses. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
attracted
Add a missing verb
are attracted
show examples
 to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new products driven by the
trend
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
created by
ads
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 buy a new
phone
Use synonyms
 because
tempting
Replace the word
of the temptation
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
ads explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
ad explanations
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the features of the
phone
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not much different from
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
 used. Looking for
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
example, the company
partnership
Replace the word
partners
show examples
 with
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 to
sales
Replace the word
sell
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 old product with
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
ads
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive strategy to maintain and develop the market of business.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 can be seen as a negative development. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in society become
consumtive
Correct your spelling
consumptive
 because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 "newness"
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of education
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society and
leed
Correct your spelling
leads
show examples
 to misleading advertising because the goods misinterpresented.
For instance
Linking Words
, many individuals are often
dissapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 when they buy a new
phone
Use synonyms
 because it doesn't match
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 their expectation are the features of
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
phone
Use synonyms
 that they used.
This
Linking Words
 case
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 buy goods driven by
ads
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 case is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 development for the companies because can increase their income.
However
Linking Words
, The society impacted negative development of the
trend
Use synonyms
"newness"
Change preposition
of "newness"
show examples
ads
Use synonyms
 by companies.
Submitted by azizahqonitas on

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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss in your essay to orient the reader to your argument.
structure
Utilize clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main point you will discuss, helping to improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
linking
Connect your paragraphs using a range of linking devices; this facilitates a smooth reading experience and aids in cohesive writing.
support
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you discussed, reinforcing your standpoint without introducing new information.
task response
Address the reasons behind businesses emphasizing newness in advertising and whether it is a positive or negative development directly to fully respond to the task.
development
Expand on your ideas and provide deeper analysis rather than stating your opinion. This will help in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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