Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

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Nowadays, the important jobs in the world are

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

which support

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

and help them.

While

Linking Words

some people spend money more on sports and entertainment. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will explain more about why should people give cash to

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

, and teachers. There are many reasons that make

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

careers

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

benefits to society.

Firstly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

doctors

Use synonyms

and

nurses

Use synonyms

have

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

responsibility where they deal with people's health and lives,

while

Linking Words

sports and entertainment do not carry the same degree of responsibility.

For example

Linking Words

, if

any one

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

sick

Add a missing verb

is sick

show examples

or injured, the doctor will treat you and supervise your health condition.

Secondly

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

and teachers require specialized and continuing education and training to maintain a high level of expertise and competence. On

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, these jobs need a lot of personal effort from employers.

For instance

Linking Words

, Health care and education require greater personal dedication and close interaction with individuals than leisure activities.

In addition

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

and

nurses

Use synonyms

deal with emergencies and life circumstances that may be psychologically stressful, warranting greater financial compensation. Teachers are all involved in building society and shaping the future of generations, and

this

Linking Words

creates the importance of their role and justifies their appreciation.

To sum up

Linking Words

, We must value these professions and give them enough money. I believe that

this

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issue depends on societal values and personal priorities.

Submitted by maltobi08 on Sun Feb 04 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea logically follows the next. Use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas together.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and reflect the general outline and the final take of your essay, respectively. They should effectively introduce and conclude your argument without repeating the same phrases.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide clear support for your main points with relevant examples and explanations. Ensure that your examples are specific and they directly reinforce your arguments

Task Achievement

Ensure that you fully address the prompt by directly engaging with the question and presenting a clear position throughout your essay. Expand on your ideas to ensure your response is complete and comprehensive.

Task Achievement

Work on clarifying and developing your ideas further. Make sure each paragraph adds to your overall argument and contains one clear main point that is thoroughly explained and supported.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. These examples should be precise and selected to directly reinforce your point of view on the issue discussed in the essay prompt.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people say that government should control the amount of violation in films and on television to control crimes in society How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

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These days, many parents teach their children at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?