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Band 6.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
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The bar graphs depict data of people who have their own
computer
Use synonyms
 in
percentage
Use synonyms
 over a span of eight years from 2002 to 2010, and the information by showing the five types of education
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in 2002 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first graph reveals that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in 2010 outpaced
in
Correct word choice
that in
show examples
 2002 among all kinds of school levels. The trend of data was gradually increased from 2002 to 2010. It is obvious that the highest number of people who have personal
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 was in 2010,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 amount of
computer
Use synonyms
 owners was in 2002.
According to
Linking Words
 students who
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 in non-high school diploma, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of their own
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 went up significantly more than a half compared to 2002 and 2010,
estimate
Change the form of the verb
estimated
show examples
 at 25
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
. Meanwhile,
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of high school
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and college were
also
Linking Words
 surged. Looking at
Correct article usage
the master
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree level, the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 having
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
 was 75
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2002
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 was nearly
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which was the highest category of education level compared to the others in the same year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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