Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Giving
money
to developing
countries
from
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, will not be able to solve
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
poverty
. That's why
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
rich
countries
should
support
another type of
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
instead
of financial
support
. I completely agree with
this
opinion and in
this
essay, I will
stat
Correct your spelling
state
show examples
the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
my view. I completely agree with
this
opinion because giving financial aid
support
would be
temporary
Add an article
a temporary
show examples
solution for poor
countries
. It is true that supporting financial can
be solve
Change the verb form
solve
show examples
the
countries'
Change noun form
country's
show examples
poverty
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
moment or short
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
, but helping them by supporting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education will be the better solution for the long term.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
poverty
is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
education system in that
country
.
For instance
, our
country
,
myanmar
Change the capitalization
Myanmar
show examples
is poor and
get
Wrong verb form
has gotten
show examples
a lot of help
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
rich
countries
like Japan and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
since the years ago.But most of the help
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
building a bridge and donating
money
to use for necessary things. By use of these, our government can solve the problem for a
while
, after that we
are
Verb problem
will
show examples
still
keep
Verb problem
be as
show examples
poor as usual.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
most
reason
Correct word choice
important reason
show examples
for holding to my view is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
aids
Change the noun form
aid
show examples
support
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
as helping these
countries
to develop in their
tourism
field. The
tourism
business is a great one to increase the
country
's foreign income. That's why
wealthy
Add an article
the wealthy
a wealthy
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
should
support
to
develope
Correct your spelling
development
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
in
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
instead
of giving
money
.
Additionally
,
those
Change the determiner
that country
those countries
show examples
country
who get the help will know how to find the
money
from
tourism
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
they will
be know
Change the verb form
be known
show examples
by upgrading the
tourism
field and they will
be reach
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
the way to rich. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that supporting financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
can not resolve the
poverty
of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
This
is because getting
money
is not a way to
rich
Add a missing verb
be rich
show examples
, having
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough knowledge and constant income are the main facts of wealthy.
Submitted by mr.shinephonemyat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion that considers both sides of the argument before presenting your own view.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with clear, focused main points and use a variety of supports like data, quotes, or detailed examples to strengthen your essay's persuasive power.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to structure your essay. Make sure there is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be clearly separated from others.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly with a range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, however, therefore, etc.) to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and re-states your position. It should be clear and concise, providing a strong sense of closure.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos to avoid detracting from the professionalism of your writing. Simple mistakes can be easily overlooked and impact the overall quality of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: