Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, i1 so, how?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life, it is required to be bilingual which is why many
people
Use synonyms
try to master the
English
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
forgetting about their native
language
Use synonyms
. Is it right to pay attention to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
teaching
Change preposition
of teaching
show examples
foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of preserving own
tongue
Use synonyms
? In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
preserving
Use synonyms
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
language
Use synonyms
has more
prioritize
Replace the word
priority
show examples
than
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
able to speak fluently in
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. Knowing and having
Add an article
an advance
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
level in
English
Use synonyms
has a lot of advantages without any doubts. It is known state,
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
majority of parents sent their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to international schools. Knowing
English
Use synonyms
seems
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
like a gate to
Correct article usage
the hole
show examples
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
world
Use synonyms
, convenient travelling, having
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to be
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
student in abroad, being confident about employment with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary and
such
Linking Words
reasons to learn
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
show examples
used
tongue
Use synonyms
endless
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
English
Use synonyms
gives not only speaking skills to learners, beside
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
another understanding of the
world
Use synonyms
. In consequence that
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
people
Use synonyms
will know how important to preserve their unique native
language
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe that traditional culture
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
on
language
Use synonyms
.
Language
Use synonyms
is not only
Correct article usage
a communicated
show examples
communicated
Replace the word
communication
show examples
tool
Use synonyms
, it is
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
tool
Add an article
a tool
show examples
to accept
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
by
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
version.
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
show examples
when local
people
Use synonyms
lose
Linking Words
this
Change the word
their
show examples
own version
accepting
Change preposition
of accepting
show examples
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
it threats to lose all culture starting with
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
Due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government should encourage
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
and preserving
Use synonyms
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
tongue
Use synonyms
,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
local citizens should speak with close
people
Use synonyms
in
Use synonyms
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
show examples
tongue
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
English
Use synonyms
is like a
tool
Use synonyms
to improve yourself and your level of education level,
mother
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
is
Use synonyms
tool
Add an article
a tool
show examples
to improve your mental health and
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
the
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kazbek.baimukhambetov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay touches upon the essential elements of the topic but should present a more balanced view considering both the importance of English and the preservation of local languages. Aim to clarify your position with a more nuanced argument and acknowledge the counterpoint more explicitly.
task achievement
Your main points are generally clear but occasionally get lost in translation due to a lack of precise language and grammatical control. Work on refining your vocabulary and sentence construction to more effectively communicate your ideas.
task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to support your point of view. This could be in the form of statistics, personal experiences, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly relevant to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a discernible progression of ideas but lacks coherence in places due to awkward language and unclear connections between ideas. Focus on using clear linking words and well-structured paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt at an introduction and conclusion, but they could be improved by being more explicit in their purpose. The introduction should clearly state your thesis, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your thesis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: