Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, i1 so, how?

in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life, it is required to be bilingual which is why many
people
try to master the
English
language
forgetting about their native
language
. Is it right to pay attention to
development
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the development
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teaching
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of teaching
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foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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instead
of preserving own
tongue
? In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
preserving
mother
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the mother
show examples
language
has more
prioritize
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priority
show examples
than
be
Wrong verb form
being
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able to speak fluently in
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
language
. Knowing and having
Add an article
an advance
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
level in
English
has a lot of advantages without any doubts. It is known state,
following
this
majority of parents sent their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to international schools. Knowing
English
seems
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
like a gate to
Correct article usage
the hole
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hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
world
, convenient travelling, having
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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to be
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
student in abroad, being confident about employment with
high
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a high
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salary and
such
reasons to learn
widely
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a widely
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used
tongue
endless
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apply
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.
However
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However,
show examples
English
gives not only speaking skills to learners, beside
give
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gives
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another understanding of the
world
. In consequence that
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
people
will know how important to preserve their unique native
language
. I strongly believe that traditional culture
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
on
language
.
Language
is not only
Correct article usage
a communicated
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communicated
Replace the word
communication
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tool
, it is
also
tool
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a tool
show examples
to accept
world
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the world
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by
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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version.
Definitely
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Definitely,
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when local
people
lose
this
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their
show examples
own version
accepting
Change preposition
of accepting
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
it threats to lose all culture starting with
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
language
.
Due
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government should encourage
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
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development
show examples
and preserving
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
tongue
,
in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
local citizens should speak with close
people
in
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
show examples
tongue
. In conclusion,
English
is like a
tool
to improve yourself and your level of education level,
mother
language
is
tool
Add an article
a tool
show examples
to improve your mental health and
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
the
world
.
Submitted by kazbek.baimukhambetov on

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task achievement
Your essay touches upon the essential elements of the topic but should present a more balanced view considering both the importance of English and the preservation of local languages. Aim to clarify your position with a more nuanced argument and acknowledge the counterpoint more explicitly.
task achievement
Your main points are generally clear but occasionally get lost in translation due to a lack of precise language and grammatical control. Work on refining your vocabulary and sentence construction to more effectively communicate your ideas.
task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to support your point of view. This could be in the form of statistics, personal experiences, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly relevant to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a discernible progression of ideas but lacks coherence in places due to awkward language and unclear connections between ideas. Focus on using clear linking words and well-structured paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt at an introduction and conclusion, but they could be improved by being more explicit in their purpose. The introduction should clearly state your thesis, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your thesis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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