he charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The given bar charts compare the consumption of

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

proportion of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in four certain categories in the United States of America.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly seen from the charts that sodium and saturated fat consumption

accounte

Correct your spelling

account

accounted

accounts

for the greatest part

Change preposition

show examples

dinner between typical meals,

while

Linking Words

added sugar

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

up the highest figure in snacks. looking at the details, the amount of

soudium

Correct your spelling

sodium

in breakfast and snacks are the same at exactly 14%, and it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

29% of lunch,

while

Linking Words

the percentage of

sudium

Correct your spelling

sodium

in dinner is the highest among others at exactly 43%.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, the figure

Change preposition

for

show examples

saturated fat is 16%

Linking Words

similarly

Change the word

similar

show examples

in add

sugure

Correct your spelling

sugar

Change preposition

show examples

breakfast.

whereas

Linking Words

the proportion of saturated fat and

add

Wrong verb form

added

show examples

sugare

Correct your spelling

sugar

sugars

in lunch is roughly 26% and 19% respectively, the percentage of saturated fat in dinner at 37% and

also

Linking Words

added

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

in snacks at 47% take up the highest amount.

Submitted by niloofar_sk33 on Mon Feb 05 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

157 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nutrients
unhealthy
typical meals
percentages
saturated fats
fibers
sugars
impact
average
consumption
trends
breakfast
lunch
dinner
highest
lowest
variation
implications
balanced diet
recommendations

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