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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women (in thousand) in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women (in thousand) in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #thousand #education #britain #three #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the data about the number of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
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females
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 (in
thousand
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thousands
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) in
further
 education in the UK during three terms and divided into two categories.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was a wide gap between the two programs.
However
, the number of females increased steadily.
In
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At
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 the beginning of the period, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 1000
male
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males
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 enrolled in part-time education, which was more than female students with only around 800. After it experienced a decline, the
men
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men's
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 rate
was manage
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managed
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 to rise slightly to approximately 900. Meanwhile, there was a significant soar in the total of women pupils, by 300 to reach
at
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apply
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1,150.
On the other hand
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of people who
join
Wrong verb form
joined
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full-time
Correct article usage
the full-time
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course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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 was considerably lower. In the first cycle, under 200 men studied, which was five times lower than the other category. It rose moderately and arrived at almost 300.
In addition
, similar to the previous group, there was only a small proportion of women participation,
although
 it levelled up to 200 during the period.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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