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Band 2

You are arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. _ explain the important event. _ apologize for the situation. _ suggest a new arrangement.

#visit #friend #canada #event #home #change #dates #_ #situation #arrangement
Dear Jennie, I am writing to apologize to you
for
Correct word choice
because
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 I could not
arranged
Change the verb form
arrange
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 to your at home
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I have an important event. At the
time
 my mother's birthday, and it was
very
Add an article
a very
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 precious day for me. A lot of guests
to visit
Change the verb form
visited
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 my home and I set the table, I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 a
most
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
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 work,
cause
Correct word choice
because
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 I was very busy.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
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 I could not go.
Birthday
Correct pronoun usage
My birthday
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 was a very big party, and my mum was extremely happy. I am so sorry if I could not go, forgive me and I hope you understand me. If I had
time
, I would definitely go to your home, because we had
a plans
Correct the article-noun agreement
a plan
plans
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. I am very
disappointment
Replace the word
disappointed
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, I am sorry again. We have a lot of
time
 now, because at the
time
 a holiday,
athough
Correct your spelling
although
 we will
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
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 and I will suggest
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 arrangement .
Are
Verb problem
Do
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 you agree? On Friday
this
 week, I will
meeting
Change the verb form
meet
be meeting
show examples
 you. Yours sincerely, La Lisa,
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction, development, and conclusion. To improve, structure your letter more formally with an introductory sentence, followed by distinct paragraphs for each point (explanation, apology, and new arrangement) and a concluding sentence. This structure will improve the logical flow and coherence.
task achievement
You need to directly address all three points of the task. Provide more details about the important event, including why it's significant and why it requires you to change your plans. Additionally, when apologizing, ensure it is sincere and when suggesting a new arrangement, be specific about the date and time. This will help you fully achieve the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Be more careful with grammar and vocabulary to add clarity and improve comprehensibility. Use complete sentences, correct verb tenses, and maintain subject-verb agreement. Moreover, use linking words to connect your ideas better and check for spelling and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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