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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph shows the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
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 to the Caribbean
island
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 from 2010 to 2017. All and all,the total number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean
island
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 has been increasing throughout the period between 2010 and 2017. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
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 who stay on
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island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 is higher than the
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
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 who stay on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
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 in previous years. Beginning in 2010, the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of total
visitors
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 continued to grow until 2017.And the number of people who chose to stay on the
cruise
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ships
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 is lower than the number of people who chose to stay on
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island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 until the middle of 2015.
Then
Linking Words
 in the middle of 2015,two lines
wore
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 crossed,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that from
then
Linking Words
 on there were more
visitors
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stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on the
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 than
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on the
island
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. The line of the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stay on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
began at 0.25
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fluctuated until 2012,
then
Linking Words
 continued to rise to 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 after 2012. And the other line of the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of people
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
 to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 at 0.75
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, and
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2013, it stayed the same
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2013 to 2015.It fell in 2016 and recovered to 1.5 million by 2016 In summary, the total
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 increased by 45
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 over the 8 years period.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, visitors, island, cruise, ships, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 8 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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