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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram demonstrates how
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
 are produced in large quantities
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using machines.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight distinct stages involved in
this
Linking Words
 process. Beginning with the storage silos to the eventual labelling and sealing of
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
. First of all, remove the flour from the storage silos and put it into the mixer, mingle it with water and oil. After that, place the mixed dough on rollers and press it into dough sheets before cutting
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
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 dough strips by using the machine. It will transform into the shape of
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
 that we can see on the market, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
knowns
Correct your spelling
known
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 as
noddles
Correct your spelling
noodles
show examples
 discs. In stage six, using oil to
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
show examples
 the
noodles
Use synonyms
 discs and drying them into
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
 is the most important step.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is necessary to put the
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
 into the cups,
add
Correct word choice
and add
show examples
 vegetables and spices inside.
Finally
Linking Words
, labelling and sealing the cup with labels to sell on the market.
This
Linking Words
 is the complete process of making
instant
Use synonyms
noodles
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words instant, noodles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Noodle dough
  • Steaming
  • Cutting
  • Dough sheeting
  • Molding
  • Air-drying
  • Frying
  • Seasoning
  • Quality control
  • Packaging
  • Shelf life
  • Flavoring agents
  • Texture
  • Instant meal
  • Convenience food
  • Production line
  • Consumer
  • Ingredient mixing
  • Safety standards
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