A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir , I am writing
this
letter to show my gratitude towards your company as you are going to organize an
amzing
Correct your spelling
amazing
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
for the welfare of the local community. All the sports have great benefits as it is a good exercise which will bring punctuality and enthusiasm
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the lives of children. If your company spend some money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports it will be a great opportunity for the younger ones as they will have
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities to perform at their school.
Moreover
, some of them
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
bceome
Correct your spelling
become
an international player and will make their country proud. Concerts
also
play a crucial role as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
act as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
stress busters and all the local citizens will enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
their near and dear ones
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to devalue their stress. I would like to suggest
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
that spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports will have
enomorous
Correct your spelling
enormous
numerous
advantages,
hence
pupils would love these efforts .
Moreover
, you should consult with the principal of the school and he will guide you
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more accurately. I am so excited to know about which suggestions will be accepted by you . I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours faithfully, Sam
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the response is organized with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single point. The benefits of sponsoring the sports team and funding the concerts need to be distinctly highlighted in separate paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas should be linked together more clearly, with greater use of cohesive devices to make logical connections apparent throughout the letter.
Task Achievement
It is important to understand all parts of the task and respond to each one fully. Ensure the letter describes the benefits of the sports sponsorship and concert funding in more detail and provide a clearer, well-supported opinion on which option the company should choose.
Task Achievement
Although the tone of the letter is mostly suitable, ensure that formal language is consistently used throughout and avoid using conversational or informal phrases that might undermine the formality of the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use 'Dear Sir or Madam,' as instructed to begin the letter and close it appropriately. Refrain from starting with 'Dear Sir ,' since this ignores half of the potential audience and misses the comma after 'Sir'. Close the letter with either 'Yours sincerely' or 'Yours faithfully' followed by your name.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!