Some people believe that governments should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing traffic problems by using public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #transportation #systems #traffic #congestion #air #pollution #individuals #responsibility #transport

Traffic congestion and air pollution are the biggest problems facing every country across the world, particularly in their large cities. Some people say that the

government

should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce these problems

while

others assume that individuals

also

should take responsibility for these circumstances. Both sides will be discussed below

along with

my point of view. The

government

should be the first leader in order to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution issues because they have more capability in funds rather than individuals. A massive investment by the

government

in public transportation sectors like the infrastructure and the management system can create a big trigger to improving services.

Furthermore

, the

government

should consider that

besides

the infrastructure and the management system,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great and strict regulations

also

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

another form of investment which they can do because they

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

the authority. From

this

point of view, it is

undestanable

Correct your spelling

understandable

if some people believe that governments should do more.

On the other hand

Submitted by Deddymus on Thu Feb 08 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you complete the essay by discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear conclusion with your own opinion. The incomplete essay does not sufficiently meet the requirements of the task. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure your essay has a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect paragraphs and ideas, and pay attention to organise paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, be sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion. The conclusion is essential as it wraps up your discussion and clearly states your own stance on the issue. This is currently missing and needs to be included to meet the basic requirements of the essay structure.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant examples to support your points in the essay to strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your discussion. This essay lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made, which is essential for a higher score in task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

169 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Many schools these days have problems with poor student behaviour. Why do you think these problems occur? What could be done to tackle these problems?

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In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?