Some people believe that governments should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing traffic problems by using public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Traffic congestion and air pollution are the biggest problems facing every country across the world, particularly in their large cities. Some people say that the
government
should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce these problems
while
others assume that individuals
also
should take responsibility for these circumstances. Both sides will be discussed below
along with
my point of view. The
government
should be the first leader in order to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution issues because they have more capability in funds rather than individuals. A massive investment by the
government
in public transportation sectors like the infrastructure and the management system can create a big trigger to improving services.
Furthermore
, the
government
should consider that
besides
the infrastructure and the management system,
Correct article usage
apply
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a
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great and strict regulations
also
is
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apply
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the
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another form of investment which they can do because they
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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has
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have
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the authority. From
this
point of view, it is
undestanable
Correct your spelling
understandable
if some people believe that governments should do more.
On the other hand
,
Submitted by Deddymus on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you complete the essay by discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear conclusion with your own opinion. The incomplete essay does not sufficiently meet the requirements of the task. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure your essay has a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect paragraphs and ideas, and pay attention to organise paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, be sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion. The conclusion is essential as it wraps up your discussion and clearly states your own stance on the issue. This is currently missing and needs to be included to meet the basic requirements of the essay structure.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support your points in the essay to strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your discussion. This essay lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made, which is essential for a higher score in task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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