IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant to thank them. Mention the food, service and the atmosphere. Also, suggest any improvements to make things better.

#birthday #friends #week #restaurant #success #food #service #atmosphere #improvements
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to show my gratitude towards the services that I received yesterday from your prestige restaurant on my birthday occasion. First of all , all your employees are super professional and work ethically , they know how to treat their customers with love and affection which reflects their professionalism .
In addition
,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 was very delicious ,
flavourful
Correct word choice
and flavourful
show examples
 and
presentation
Correct article usage
the presentation
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 was on another level
hence
 , I liked karahi paneen and cheese chilli with butter naan . These dishes became my favourite because I liked the aroma .
Moreover
, the
embience
Correct your spelling
audience
 in your restaurant was amazing and spectacular
also
 background music added magic
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
 experience. I just have one suggestion as
this
 restaurant is so popular and many people are visiting
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
this
 way you should have
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 payment system which will help your workers save time and energy. I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours faithfully, Sam
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that ideas are not mixed within paragraphs. Separate suggestions into their own paragraph for clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Craft a stronger opening and closing for your letter. Address the restaurant manager with their name or title if known, and conclude with a more personalized closing remark.
Task Response
Expand on the aspects you enjoyed by providing specific examples or personal anecdotes to illustrate your satisfaction with the experience.
Task Response
Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout the letter. While the tone is generally suitable, aim for a more formal expression of thanks and ensure suggestions are politely framed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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