Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is community. I strongly
Correct your spelling
disagree

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disgree
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disagree

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with the trend
would
Correct word choice
and would

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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have
Firstly
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, it is crucial to recognize that the concept of dwelling with families
were
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was

The plural verb were does not appear to agree with the singular subject concept. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a stereotype. the reason is that the nuclear
famility
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family
facility

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structure is not the only
vaild
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valid

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form of familial relationship.
For instance
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, many individuals
are tending
Wrong verb form
tend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are tending. Consider changing it.

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to select
the
Correct article usage
a

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home comprised
with
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of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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friends, closer, or relatives, creating strong support networks outside of conventional family units.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those
choosen familities
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chosen families

The words choosen familities seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

can provide social, emotional and practical support as same as
troditional familities
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traditional families

The words troditional familities seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

and can contribute positively to the
boarder
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border

The word boarder doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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community.
Second,
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many people are unwilling to live with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families

It seems that family may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The reason is that
he
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the

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structure and condition of
familities
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facilities
families

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vary significantly from one individual to
aother
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another

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, some of them may suffered domestic violence they were a child. To illustrate, I had no private spaces in childhood, my parents came
in
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into

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my room
never
Correct word choice
and never

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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knock
Wrong verb form
knocked

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the
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on the

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door, even
I
Correct word choice
though I

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remind
Wrong verb form
reminded

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Correct pronoun usage
them seveal
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seveal
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several

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times,
they
Correct word choice
that they

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were never putting on
the
Change the word
my

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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mind.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pretty
hart
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hard

The word hart doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to live with
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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person who
don't
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doesn't

The plural verb do does not appear to agree with the singular subject the person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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understand "respect". In conclusion, living with friends or close can construct a strong support relationship and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enhance the connecting of communities to
another
Correct pronoun usage
one another

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, dwelling outside with friends or alone
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a method for someone to escape the person who they don't wanna stay with.
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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the essay topic and includes a thesis statement indicating your position.
Logical Structure
Enhance logical flow by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and a concluding sentence.
Supporting Details
Support main points with specific examples or explanations to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Task Response
Your essay should maintain a consistent focus on the question asked throughout the entire response.
Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community cohesion
  • individualism
  • shared accommodation
  • societal norms
  • isolation
  • interpersonal relationships
  • nuclear family
  • extended family
  • housemates
  • co-living
  • social fabric
  • support network
  • globalisation
  • multigenerational living
  • self-sufficiency
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