Some companies blocks their employees from using social media and web sites such as facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to blocks access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
there is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
show examples
spread view of some companies to
restricted
Wrong verb form
restrict
show examples
workers from using social
media
and
web site
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
even blocking access to some sites, meanwhile, others believe the managers should
trust
employees
on using
Change preposition
to use
show examples
their
time
wisely
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
surfing the
internet
. I believe,
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
giving the freedom
of accessing
Change preposition
to access
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
in
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
show examples
is the best way to handle the needs of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
on browsing
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. First of all, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
doesn'
t
like to be restricted
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
what they do yet they will obey if the rules
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
still on their standard.
For example
, a worker will most likely
browing
Change the verb form
brow
be browing
show examples
internet
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their free
time
or
lunch
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
time
, if the companies set a rule that people can'
t
accessing
Change the verb form
access
be accessing
show examples
non
Add a hyphen
non-work
show examples
work
related
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
work
and free
time
, the worker will find
other method
Change the wording
another method
other methods
show examples
to use social
media
quietly
such
as using in bathroom, outside
work space
Correct your spelling
workspace
show examples
or any
time
that supervisor doesn'
t
pay attention.
The
Change the word
Their
show examples
productivity will be reduced because in
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
they can'
t
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
social
media
,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
why they will use their
work
time
to play with their handphone.
Furthermore
, the employees will be more grateful if given
trust
Add an article
the trust
show examples
to handle their
work
time
. The
trust
that is
given to them
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
a big responsibility to produce great
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
work
, I believe a relationship based on
trust
is more strong and dependable than
relationship
Correct article usage
a relationship
show examples
based on fear. The conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
need to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
rules or boundaries on how the employees need to behave on using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. The more
tigther
Correct your spelling
tighter
the rules, the more resistance is given by the workers,
in addition
, we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
give them
trust
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
how they use social
media
.
Submitted by awalia.septiani.17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Establish your position in the introduction and summarize it in the conclusion.
Content
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations to support your argument. Avoid generalizations and add more detailed examples.
Coherence
Use cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay, such as transition words and phrases that show the relationship between ideas.
Language
Review grammar and punctuation for clarity and accuracy, and vary your sentence structures to demonstrate language control.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: